


What's your emergency? My friend is a demon.

by Igraine_smiley



Series: Quarantine season 2020 [6]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Backstory, Bit darker than my usual stuff, Crimes & Criminals, Demon Deals, Demon Shane Madej, Demons, Friendship, Gen, Good Omens References, Hell, Inspired by Good Omens, Light Angst, Original Character Death(s), Past Character Death, Protective Shane Madej, Revelations, Ryan's katana - Freeform, not really dark tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Igraine_smiley/pseuds/Igraine_smiley
Summary: "What are you doing?" Ryan asked. Dialing 911 shouldn't have taken him so much time."I'm calling Shane" Steven replied. His hands where shaking as he poked his phone."What?" Ryan couldn't believe his ears "You have to call the police. Give me the phone!" he said as he lunged towards Steven making sure the katana was far from their bodies. The last thing they needed was to slice themselves like pieces of sushi.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara & Steven Lim, Ryan Bergara & Steven Lim & Shane Madej, Steven Lim & Shane Madej
Series: Quarantine season 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666678
Comments: 11
Kudos: 251





	1. Ryan's katana

Ryan and Steven were watching a movie together. It was late at night but it was Friday so it didn't really matter. They were enjoying themselves when Ryan heard a noise outside his door. Steven shrugged it off by saying that he was too into true crime and he was getting paranoid which was kind of true. All of that was set aside when someone kicked the front door open making both men jump to their feet.

"Ryan! No! Are you out of your mind?" Steven yelled as soon as he saw Ryan grab the katana from the wall "Leave that thing alone. We need to hide!" They scurried towards the short hallway next to the living room. 

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Ryan repeated but was taken out of the loop by a clacking noise. He stuck out his head to peep down the hall of his flat. The intruder was armed. He tightened the grip on his katana "He has a fucking gun!" he hissed. Steve looked at him terrified out of his mind. He grabbed his hand and made a run to the bedroom. Once they were inside, he quickly locked the door with his free hand. When he turned around to look at his friend, Steven was going though his cellphone like a madman. 

"What are you doing?" he asked. Dialing 911 shouldn't have taken him so much time. 

"I'm calling Shane" Steven replied. His hands where shaking as he poked his phone.

"What?" Ryan couldn't believe his ears "You have to call the police. Give me the phone!" he said as he lunged towards Steven making sure the katana was far from their bodies. The last thing they needed was to slice themselves like pieces of sushi. 

"No!" his friend struggled for the phone "Get off" he shove him aside making Ryan made a dent on the wall with the blade. That was going to go well with the landlord "Shane is faster!"

"What are you talking about?!" Ryan groaned in frustration "What is he gonna do? Annoy that bastard to death?" he reached for the phone again but this time in a much more forcefully way "Give me the fucking phone"

"STOP IT!" Steven hissed as he pressed the phone hard against his ear "Get off me!!" He pushed him away. 

"Steven, I swear I'll shove this katana up your ass"

"Why are you hiding?" the voice of a man called them from the living room "Show me where the money is and I might let you live"

"Come on, Shane" Steven whispered "Pick up, pick up"

"Steven, you are gonna get us killed" Ryan cried. 

"SHANE!!!" his friend face lit up "A man broke into Ryan's apartment. He has a gun; He's gonna kill us. Help us, please!" Steven begged. Ryan took advantaged of his friend distraction and took the phone from his shaky grip.

"Give me that" he said "If I die here, I'm so gonna hunt your ass"

"I'm done playing hide and seek" the man said. He was getting closer to the bedroom. Both of them jumped when the gun was fired just next to the door. 

"SHIT!" Ryan screamed but as he was dialing 911 the door burst open with a kick and suddenly he had a gun pointed straight to his face. He was dead. None of them could even react when another voice echoed through the apartment like it was coming from all the walls. 

"LEAVE THEM ALONE" a tall shadow appeared in the hallway. 

"Who the fuck are you?" the intruder turned around and shot at the silhouette three times but the figure kept coming closer. When it was face to face with the man, Ryan realized who that was; it was Shane. Shane that was allegedly visiting his family in Chicago. 

"It doesn't matter" he said in a threatening tone, Ryan had never heard from him before. Shane grabbed the gun's barrel and bended it upwards before the astonished look of the man. 

"Shane!" Steven exclaimed. Ryan was gently moved from the door by an invisible force than sent chills down his spine and just like that the intruder was sent flying into the opposite wall. Shane took slow but big steps towards the man that's when Ryan noticed his eyes. They were glowing red. That wasn't Shane. That was a creature.

"If I see you again, I'll drag your ass to Hell" Shane's voice boomed "If you ever pull anything like this again, I'll know and I'll not be happy. I'm always watching" his eyes glowed brighter "I'll make you life a living torture. Did I made myself clear?"

"Ye.. yes" the man gulped. 

"Good" Shane smirked and the intruder vanished before their eyes like he was never there in the first place. 

"Are you guys, ok?" Shane turned around, his eyes went back to normal but Ryan noticed he wasn't wearing his usual hipster like clothes, instead he was wearing what it looked some kind of suit with a red sashe across his chest. 

"I'm so glad you are here!" Steve cried out and threw himself into Shane's arms. Was he hallucinating? Why wasn't Steven scared? Ryan stood there for a second watching how Shane hugged Steven trying to calm him down. 

"What are you?" He raised his katana and pointed it towards Shane or whatever creature that was claiming to be Shane. Steven let the taller man go and frowned. 

"Ryan, put that down" Shane tentatively reached a hand towards him "You are going to hurt yourself"

"Steven, get away from him" he ordered. 

"Ryan" Shane took a few steps towards him making him jump.

"STAND BACK!" he yelled. His knuckles were turning white because of the pressure he was applying to the katana's handle. Shane flinched "Who are you?"

"I'm Shane"

"No, you are not"

"He is" Steven interrupted.

"Shut up, Steven"

"You don't have to be rude, Ryan" Shane frowned. 

"That's pretty rich coming from a monster" Shane threw him a hurt look.

"Ryan, I know it's shocking. I'm a demon but I've always been one. I'm your friend"

"This is crazy!" he looked at Steven "You knew this?" His friend didn't seem to find the right words. 

"He's the reason I'm here" Shane admitted. Ryan was lost, he had always thought he was closer to Shane than Steven but they had been demonic buddies all that time? "We made a deal when he was a child"

"I wasn't a child" 

"A tween then" Shane rolled his eyes "He cashed it when he got into Buzzfeed and I liked the sound of working there so..."

"You lied to me" Ryan stated. He had been played by his close friends "Both of you lied"

"Would you have believed me?" Shane asked getting closer despite the Katana "I just want a normal life"

"What's your name?" Ryan lowered the katana.

"It's Shane"

"Your real name" he pressured. 

"My name is Shane but bellow I'm called Beleth. Not Beelzebub or Lucifer... sorry to disappoint"

"But then... ghosts?" 

"Are real but that doesn't mean that all those crappy places you dragged me to are actually hunted" Shane smiled "The Sally house is though" Ryan was feeling faint and the he realised something. 

"You sold your soul to him?" He looked pass Shane towards Steven "Are you his slave or something?"

"What? No!" he exclaimed "I just gave him some Nutella"

"God. I need a drink" he said dropping the katana to the floor. 

"I'll have one too" Shane said "If you allow me to" he added shyly. 

"This doesn't mean we are ok" he pointed a finger towards him but Shane seemed to relax. 

"Lead the way" he said bowing. 

"Wait" Ryan stop in the middle of the hallway "Why do you have cat ears, dude?"

"You are gonna love this!!!" Steven exclaimed touching one of Shane's fluffy ears. What the hell had his life turned into?


	2. That's messed up

Steven had fallen asleep in the sofa pressed against Shane. He was probably still scared and was seeking comfort in knowing than no one stood a chance against his demon friend. Ryan was watching him carefully from his sit across them. It was such an awkward moment. With Steven sleeping, there wasn't anyone to speak in his behalf. He listened to his soft snores and smiled, trying to ignore the nervous energy emanating from Ryan was getting difficult. He was truly scared his friend would never speak to him again. They sat in silence in the dimmed room waiting to see who would break first. What should one say after revealing you are a demon to your best friend?

"It's funny how humans change their looks so often" Shane said as he brushed his fingers through Steven's white hair "I've never tried it"

"This is weird" Ryan made a pause "You talking as if you weren't human"

"I'm not human, Ryan" Shane sighed "It's late you should go to sleep" He snapped his fingers an a blanket appeared on top of Steven's body. It was important to him that he showed Ryan that his powers could be use for good and not only intimidation. 

"I don't think I can" He shuffled his feet nervously "Can you really see everything?"

"What?" Shane was confused, he didn't get where that question was coming from.

"When you threatened that man, you said you could see everything" Ryan frowned. 

"I was bluffing" He smirked and shook his head "Watching is more of an angelic thing..." He gripped the beer bottle in his hand hard enough to make it creak "but we are still watcher, right?" He was almost pleading.

"Yes... yes, we are" Ryan said and he felt reassured "Why are you here?"

"I've always loved Earth and I found a way to live here" he took a sip from the bottle "No evil plans or anything like that"

"Are you possesing someone?" Ryan frowned. That was probably were his friend would draw the line.

"Yes and no... It's complicated"

"Explain it then" Ryan stated and he knew then that he didn't have an option. He had to tell the truth.

"Shane Madej was a human at some point" He admitted.

"Did I know him?" Ryan squinted his eyes.

"No. It was always me, Ryan. I swear" He stared at him tying to convey his good intentions "Shane... human Shane, he died and we kind of swapped places. He's in hell watching over my legions"

"Legions? What the fuck?" Ryan exclaimed. Steven moved in his sleep but didn't open his eyes. 

"I'm a prince of hell, Ryan. I thought you knew your supernatural" he attemped a bit of banter

"Oh, sorry for not knowing Hell's payroll" Ryan followed along making Shane smile. 

He rememberd that day, when a lost looking boy got into his office. It was weird for someone that young to end in Hell. He wasn't on his list so he had to ask around. He was a nice kid. He seemed very interested in Hell and demons. Maybe a bit too interested. He went in and out his office countless of times until he figured out what actually happened. Solve the mess would take so much paper work and he despised paperwork.

"So... I checked our files and you aren't on anyone's list" Beleth came back into his office where Shane was fidgeting with his hands "You aren't supposed to be in Hell, kid" He said throwing a folder onto the desk. 

"That's good... I guess" The boy grimced "Sorry for all the staring. It's just that talking to a cat is so fucking weird"

"Don't worry" Beleth moved his ears around. He could have an humanoid form but that took effort and he was comfortable in his fluffy feline body. It wasn't like he looked like a mundane cat, he was bigger and could walk in his hind legs "I get it"

"So I'm not supposed to be here but I'm defintly dead, right?" the boy asked with a droplet of hope in his voice.

"Yes. Sorry about that, Shane" He replied.

"Can I ask how did I die?"

"Mmmm... let see... " He went thought the files with his paws "oh..." he made a pause wondering if he should tell the boy the truth "You were murdered, a serial killer actually"

"Holy shit" Shane blurted.

"If it makes you feel better, I can give him an special treatment when he arrives here" Beleth frowned. 

"That's nice of you" The boy smiled "My family is going to be so sad" Beleth had read his file. Shane's family seemed nice, a mom and a dad and a big brother. He felt bad for them which he shouldn't because he was a demon. 

"This is an odd situation but it had happened before, I'll get in contact with the a-holes upstairs. Once I get your paperwork ready, you will be able to go to Heaven"

"And in the meantime?" 

"Eh... you can stay here" Beleth guessed it wasn't against protocol. 

"How it's Heaven?" the boy asked. 

"I don't actually remember" Beleth rested his chin on his paws. His angelic days were a blur. "I recall is pretty boring but it can't be that bad, right? I mean, we are the bad ones"

"It's not that bad here" The boy looked around the office. He tried to keep his place clean and cozy. He would always bring little trinkets from each of his adventures on Earth. Like the big globe that was standing next to his desk or the magestic cat statue he stole from a temple in Egypt eons ago. His office was one of the few well lit rooms in Hell. He was actually really good friends with the demon electrician so that get him quick repairs. He also tried his damn best to keep the leaks in check. 

"I'm very particular about my working place" Shane said. 

"You like it here?"

"Not really, I like Earth" he pointed towards the globe.

"Why don't you go there? I mean, you are the boss after all"

"I still have a bigger and meaner boss, kid... and no official corporation" he realised the boy didn't know hellish lingo "that means a body" 

There was a knock at the door before a small demon entered the office carrying a hot mug in their hands. 

"Oh, Thanks" The boy took the hot mug and the demon left "So you said I'm not in anyone's list..."

"That's right" Beleth nodded. 

"So my body It's... Vacant" The boy took a sip from the cup.

"Wait, are you really giving me your body?" That was a first. It could work but he couldn't help but feel he was taking advantage of the boy's predicament.

"That sound so wrong, dude" the boy laughed "but yeah... You don't sound like bad guy and I died so young, I don't want my family to go through all that shit. Having to look for my body in the sewers or something like that"

"The woods actually" Beleth couldn't help to add.

"That's what I mean, It's gonna destroy them" The boy tightened his grip on the mug. 

"If I go... would you keep an eye around here?"He asked "You seem like a sharp young man"

"Sure, I mean... Hell sounds way more interesting that Heaven"

"Ok, edgelord" Shane rolled his eyes and laughed. 

"Can I be a demon?" The boy asked. 

"No but you can be an honorary Deputy Prince of Hell"

"It's that allowed?" The boy squinted. 

"This is Hell, we don't follow rules"

"Swell" The boy smiled.

"This will mirrow my aura" Shane explained as he made a bowtie appear from thin air on the desk. The bow had a sparkly red gem in the middle of it. It glowed like a bonfire "They will think you are me. I'll teach you a few tricks to use my powers but don't push it"

"So you are going to be like a source of demonic power to my bowtie?" The boy grabbed the bow with wonder.

"Exactly. I'll visit from time to time to check on things" Beleth extended his paw "Do we have a deal?"

"Sure we do" the boy smiled "Shane Madej" 

Ryan voice cut trough his thoughts. He had probably been trying to get his attention for a while now.

"Earth to Shane!" Ryan waved a hand in front of his face. Well, he might not be that scared of him anymore "So... you are a big deal in Hell?" He asked.

"Kind of... I'm powerful enough to get away with most of my bullshit but Beelzebub's still my boss" Shane took a sip from his beer "I'm like a regional manager, Beelzebub is like the general manager and Lucifer is the CEO but he doesn't do shit, the lazy bastard"

"Shit" Ryan whispered "Can we don't talk about actual Satan like that. It gives me the chills"

"But it's true though" Shane finished his beer. 

"So you have demons under your command" 

"That's right. I used to pop up here on Earth from time to time but I always had to come back" He explained "I wasn't issued an official body so I made them myself. They were quite crappy, to be honest. So when human Shane accidentally ended it up in Hell, he decided to lend me his body to spare his family the whole suffering bit"

"This is so messed up" 

"It's dark, I know" Shane stared at the floor "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lie to you but I couldn't tell you. It was to risky" He leaned forwards, trying no to wake Steven up "You are my bestfriend, Ry. I love you"

"I understand" Ryan looked away "I just have to get used to it" They stayed silence for a while until Ryan spoke again "and... you are a cat?"

"All demons have an animal form... I was stuck with cat" He shrugged "At least I'm not a frog"

"You do have froggy like eyes" Ryan mocked. 

"Oh, Shut up!" Shane relished the small bickering "You are so not ready for my striking cat form"

"Whatever you say, big guy" Ryan had a faint smile on his face "So, you are a cat but you also own a cat... That's messed up, man"

"Glad to hear you think that's the messed up part of this whole ordeal" They both laughed and Shane wanted to freeze time in that moment forever.

"Wait a second!" Ryan opened his eyes like he was in one of those hunted places of him "Your friend from college, the one with the sunglasses and the blond husband. Are they demons too?"

"Ryan! Don't be ridiculous!" Shane laughed "Aziraphale is an angel!" maybe things could go back to normal.


End file.
